


Judge Not

by ladygabe



Series: Side Quests: Critical Role Ficlets [5]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Caleb Widogast is a bit of an asshole, Ficlet, Gen, Humor, Molly is the moral compass of this group, Racism (Fantasy Based), Serious Topic Taken Lightly, but he loves his family, pre-episode 26, tiniest implied Beau/Yasha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2020-12-28 19:20:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21141881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladygabe/pseuds/ladygabe
Summary: Mollymauk was no stranger to situations like this. He had lived his entire two years among a group of weirdos, and was one of the weirdest himself. It was always the same, whenever they traveled to a sheltered place, whether it be full of humans, dwarves, elves, or halflings; anyone out of the ordinary was looked upon with suspicion. Sometimes the residents were kind enough to limit themselves to suspicious glances.Other times, Molly once again found himself trying to keep a fist-fight from breaking out in the street.





	Judge Not

**Author's Note:**

> See end notes for a full summary of the racism trigger. 
> 
> Alternate Title: In Which A Group of Villagers Learn the Literal Demon Spawn are the Nice Ones (and the Wizard is Not)

The moment raised voices distract him from the junk pile of a merchant stall he is in, Caleb realized that he should have been expecting this. He had grown up in a small countryside village such as this, where even the odd elf or halfling was looked at askance by the native humans. The Nein were about as far from normal as these folk would ever see except for an occasional passing carnival; hell, part of their number _had_ come from a passing carnival. 

Before now, however, it had never been a problem. It occurred to Caleb that it had never been a problem not because humanity had grown wiser and more accepting since he was a child, but because their party normally was flanked by both a sour-faced human woman with a very large stick and a stern-faced human-passing woman with an even larger sword. 

At the moment the two were off on a so-called errand that the rest of the Nein hoped was code for a date. 

That left one very tall, quiet half-orc who dressed like a mercenary; one ostentatiously-garbed, violently purple tiefling with no shame; one vibrant blue tiefling with a voice that could be heard for three blocks; and one tiny, cat-eyed, sticky-fingered goblin with far too many sharp teeth. 

And, well, Caleb himself. Caleb, who worked very hard at going unnoticed, and was doing an extra good job of it at the moment, being approximately thirty feet away from his companions. 

“Now now,” Mollymauk was saying, hands held up in a universal sign of peace, his amicable voice on. “You said you just wanted to have a talk with us, right? We are open to talking. We’re just passing through and stopped to pick up supplies; we’re not here to cause any trouble.”

Gaze going to the gruff-looking pack of human men that had stopped his friends in the street, Caleb knew that it did not matter if Molly was being perfectly honest or not. These men had already made up their minds that the Nein were bad news, and they were here to run them out of town. 

With a sigh, Caleb put down the book he had been eyeing and made his way out of the stall. 

____________

Mollymauk was no stranger to situations like this. He had lived his entire two years among a group of weirdos, and was one of the weirdest himself. It was always the same, whenever they traveled to a sheltered place, whether it be full of humans, dwarves, elves, or halflings; anyone out of the ordinary was looked upon with suspicion. Sometimes the residents were kind enough to limit themselves to suspicious glances. 

Other times, Molly once again found himself trying to keep a fist-fight from breaking out in the street. He knew exactly who the local Crownsguard would side with. 

“Don’t try and play your tricks on us, devil spawn,” spat the man who was apparently their leader. “We know how your kind are.”

Molly resisted the urge to suggest some less cliche insults; it would not win him any favors, and it was not just his neck on the line at the moment. Fjord was standing just behind him, shoulders stiff, and Molly could feel Nott keeping close to the back of their knees. Jester was on his left, chewing on her bottom lip, obviously taken aback by how these men had not warmed up to her cheerful disposition in the least. 

“No tricks, I swear to you. We just wish to get a few rations and be on our way.” Molly was willing to forgo even that, at this point, if it meant they all got out of town without being tarred and feathered. 

“We aren’t stupid,” the man said, and again Molly had to bite down a flippant response. “You’ll talk all nice and disappear in the night and we’ll find half the gold in the village gone. And that’s if we’re lucky, and you beasts don’t start trying to charm the womenfolk and steal from our children.”

“Look, now, that ain’t at all polite --” Fjord began. The humans jumped, some grabbing for their weapons, as if stunned that a half-orc could speak in the Common tongue. Molly started seriously considering if breaking noses was really such a bad idea, after all. 

“What would you even know about being polite, you gre--” The leader’s next insult was cut off by an utterly calm, familiarly accented voice. 

“I would suggest calming down.” The man’s eyes went glassy for a moment as he turned his head towards the Nein’s very own wizard, who seemed to have appeared from nowhere. Molly could feel the tingle of magic in the words. 

Caleb stepped between the village folk and his companions, reaching out to place his hands on the broader man’s chest in a deceptively benevolent manner. 

“Now, good sir. I have charmed you so that you and your companions will have an entire minute to rethink your actions. These people -- and may I emphasize the word _people_ \-- behind me are my friends. They are odd, ja, but each of them has a good heart. They are kind, and mostly honest, and will pay you good coin for the supplies we need.”

The wizard’s tone changed abruptly, a hiss echoing in his words as his fingers curled in the man’s collar, jerking him forward. Molly caught the sudden scent of burning fabric. “_I_, on the other hand, am _very_ unkind, and I take _very_ poorly to those who would harass my friends for _existing_.” 

“Kick his ass!” Nott squeaked from her protective position. 

“Nott, no!” Fjord hissed, turning to scold her like a child. 

Molly and Jester exchanged looks, and jumped forward as one. 

“Whoops! Do excuse us,” Molly said cheerfully, reaching forward and prying Caleb’s much too warm hands off of the man’s now singed shirt. “Sorry, he’s one of ours.”

“His manners are really bad,” Jester added, bumping Caleb’s hips with her own to help dislodge him. “We’re working on it!” 

“Trying to socialize him, you know?” Caleb let out a growl that did not speak to them having any success as Molly tugged his hands down by the wrists. “Teach him how to play nice with others.”

“You know how you humans can get,” Jester said cheerfully. “Kinda growly and wild! Like a stray cat!” She patted Caleb on the head, giving the humans a bright grin that they seemed entirely unsure what to do with. 

“We promise we’ll keep him out of trouble.” Molly began to pull Caleb back towards Fjord and Nott, matching Jester’s grin with his own. “He’ll be a good, functioning member of society in no time! We swear!” 

Molly saw the charm fade from the villager’s eyes and shift to match the baffled confusion of his compatriots as they watched a quartet of non-humans gently wrestle their human friend away. Caleb met his eyes with a steely glare, a hint of bared teeth, and a flicker of flame around his fingertips. 

“I could just set them on fire,” Caleb announced, voice once again all too calm. 

“Darling, no, you’d feel bad if you did that,” Molly soothed. 

“Only for a little while.”

“Uh, right,” the man stammered. “We should uh, let you all get your stuff and, uh, get goin’, then.” He backpedaled, now seeming to want to put as much distance between the group and himself as possible. 

“Thank you,” Fjord said dryly. “We appreciate that.” 

“Have a good day!” Jester called for good measure, waving as the men quickly dispersed. The rest of the humans in the marketplace abruptly turned back to their own business, pretending as if nothing at all had just occurred. 

“I’m definitely stealing all their shit,” Nott muttered under her breath. Molly said nothing in protest as he led his friends and their one feral wizard away.

**Author's Note:**

> I'd love more Critical Role friends! If you'd like, hit me up on Twitter @/nockitty.
> 
> Racism Trigger Notes:  
The non-humans of the Nein are approached by a gang of human men who are racist against non-humans. They insult/degrade them and accuse them of being thieves and criminals. The non-humans are trying to deescalate the situation. Caleb just goes straight for threats. The men end up leaving without any violence.


End file.
